Stop Crying Your Heart Out
by Cassiel Lorna
Summary: Previously titled Bookwoman's Forbidden Love. Esther and her mentor is in charge of recording history from the Noah side. When she started having feeling for Tyki, she started having doubts about her position as Bookwoman who is not supposed to have a heart. Will she be able to remain neutral or risk losing her position? Pairing: Tyki/OFC, a hint of Lavi/OFC.


**Warning: OOC-ness and somewhat Mary Sue-ish ahead. If you don't like it, please don't read or leave a mean review about it. You've been warned.**

**Stop Crying Your Heart Out**

**Bookwoman's Forbidden Love**

_A Fanfiction_

_Summary: Just like bookman and his apprentice recorded history in the exorcist side, what if there is also bookwoman and her apprentice who get to record history in the Noah side? Pairing: Tyki/OFC, a hint of Lavi/OFC._

_A/N: This will be an alternate universe, obviously, what with the OC and stuff. You are not an exorcist. You don't possess innocence. But you have powers as a witch. Your mentor, Taiitsu-sama, is also a witch, hence Lavi called her 'sunakake baba'._

_Disclaimer: I don't own -man characters, I'm just borrowing them for fun. The lyric used here is not mine either._

_The recorder of history is not only one. _

_Just like everything has balance. So does this kind of situation. _

_Yin and Yang. Light and Darkness. _

_Male and Female. Good and Evil. _

Esther was nervous. Currently she and her mentor, Taiitsu-sama, were on their way to meet Millenium Earl.

_A/N: Yes, just picture Taiitsu-kun from Fushigi Yuugi. She reminds me a lot of Bookman "Panda"._

Taiitsu-sama had decided to record history on the Earl's and the Noah's side to even the history in all side. Since "Panda" and his apprentice had decided to stick around with the exorcist, it is only natural that Taiitsu-sama and her apprentice had to stick with the remaining group.

Esther was very, very nervous. She was going to meet with the greatest villain in history who is about to make his second début in the world. She had heard rumor about the cruelty of the Earl and was really worried that the Earl is going to kill them on the spot. Taiitsu-sama had warned her that they are going to work and live together with the said person for a long while.

So here they are…in the House of Noah….

Noah… Now that is interesting subject for Esther. She was curious about the Noah family. The record about the Noah family back in the Council is very limited, if not almost none-existence. A part of Esther as a bookwoman's successor was eager to meet the Noah and study them but the other part of Esther as a normal human was scared shitless to face them.

The Earl has been waiting for them. He was pleased to have people that will record history from his side. He was determined as ever to achieve glory and people shall remember him and feared him.

An Akuma, who are in human female form of a servant, greeted Bookwoman Taiitsu-sama and Esther. She led them toward the hall where the Earl is waiting.

Taiitsu-sama and Esther walked toward a poorly-lit corridor where either side of the wall were filled with various creepy portrays. Esther nervously looked around as if she could feel many eyes on the wall were watching her every move. She was so distracted with the paintings that she actually lost track of the servant-akuma and her mentor.

Esther panicked when she realized that she had gotten lose in that maze-like corridor. Tears filled her eyelids. "NO WAY! Why do I have to get lost now of all time?" she whined. She swore she heard hints of laughter but she found no one there.

Esther started to wonder around a bit, hoping to catch sight of someone who could actually direct her to the right direction. She was already jumpy and her nervous system has officially trashed, it didn't help much as Jasdero and Debito (who were hiding) played a prank on her. As a result, she got scared and ran around deeper into the maze-like corridor.

She couldn't think. Her heart rate is so high. And she was still not recovered from her panic attack. So it didn't register in her mind as she entered a room (in an attempt to hide from whatever scares her) and saw two people are having sex in the room.

When she finally realized, her face turned into an interesting shade of red. She yelped and quickly turned around in desperate attempt to open the door and get the hell out of there.

Tyki and the woman in his arms were watching the panicking girl in amusement.

"Who are you?" the woman, Isabelle, asked.

"I'm sorry~~!" Esther yelled. "I got lost~~! I didn't mean to interrupted or peek on you two~~!" she explained, covering her eyes with her two hands.

Tyki chuckled. Then he realized something. "You…Could you be…" But before he could finish his sentences, Esther had already squeaking and bowing repeatedly then turned around only to bump into the door. Finally she managed to get out of there. "….bookwoman's apprentice?" He let out a soft sigh as he ran a hand over his hair.

They still could hear Esther complaining something about her eyes as she ran away.

Isabelle giggled. "Cute reaction…"

Tyki grabbed his shirt and moved toward the doorframe just in time to see Esther rounded a corner…the wrong corner again. He sighed. "I better get her to the Earl…"

Meanwhile, Esther looked around her. She was definitely lost. She somehow had found herself in another room. As she walked around, her feet tripped on something and she fell on the ground with a loud thud. "Ouuch! What now?" she whined as she looked over to see what had caused her to fall.

Her eyes widened as she saw a young man dressed in a finder uniform on the floor. He was badly injured. He was the one who grabbed Esther's feet in an attempt to get her attention.

"Help…me…" The finder said in hoarse voice, eyes filled with fear, one hand reaching out toward the girl.

Esther was instantly on his side. "Oh my God! You're injured! Who…who did this to you?"

"Help…run…" was the only reply the finder can utter before he fainted.

Esther look disturbed. Help him run? How could she when she got lost herself? She snapped out of her trance when she heard a voice of a girl singing a tune that seem to mock the finder. She gripped her hands on the finders' arms in almost protectiveness and fear.

Road appeared and she look surprised to see a human girl is there. She smirked. "Well, well…look like I got a new toy…" Then she giggled as if she just said something funny. "What is your name, girl?"

Esther stared at the younger girl in front of her. "What did you do to him?" she asked.

Road giggled again. "He was my toy. Whatever I do to him is for my own pleasure. But I'm getting bored of him. Would you play with me?"

Esther glared. "No."

Road pouted. "No fun. And what is a human girl like you doing here? Are you someone's new slave girl or something?" she asked.

Esther twitched at that. "I'm no one slave! I'm…"

"…Bookwoman's apprentice…" Someone answered for her.

Esther nodded. "Yes. I am that." She stopped herself. Who said that? She looked around and saw a handsome guy standing behind her. She didn't recognize him as the man who had sex in the room since at the time she was in panic mode that she didn't dare to even look at the two occupants of the room's faces.

"Tyki?" Road tiled her head in confusion.

"Road, behave yourself. She is one of our important guests." Tyki said with a grin.

Road's eyes lit up. "She's with the Bookwoman? The one that will be staying with us?"

"Yes." Tyki replied.

Road grinned. "Look like we might get to play after all, girlie."

Esther glared at Road. Then she realized something that Tyki said. Our guests? Which make the two of them owners of the house? A Noah? She looked at Road and then at Tyki and realized the distinguishing features of a Noah: the cross mark on the forehead. Her jaw dropped. Great, she almost picks up a fight with a Noah. Taiitsu-sama is going to have her head for this.

Tyki smiled down at Esther. He approached the girl then kneeled in front of her which startled the girl. He lifted one of her hands and brought it to his lips and brushed it with a light kiss. "It's nice to meet you…"

Esther blushed when he planted a kiss on her hand. "Es-Esther…" she stammered in her reply. She could feel the man's lips curled into a smirk as he noticed her reaction toward him.

"Ah, Miss Esther… I'm Tyki Mikk of Noah Clan." Tyki said with a disarming smile. "And…" He motioned toward Road. "…she is Road Camelot, also of Noah Clan…"

Esther was startled as Road suddenly re-appeared alarmingly near her and the finder. She quickly pulled her hand away from Tyki.

Road has a huge grin as she smiled down at Esther.

Tyki grinned. "Let's get you to the hall, shall we? Wouldn't want to keep the Bookwoman wonders about her precious apprentice?"

Esther's eyes widened in horror. "Taiitsu-sama!" she blurted out. "Oh, she is going to kill me for this…" she muttered but enough for the two Noah to hear. She didn't saw the exchange look of devilish amusement in both of the Noah's faces.

Tyki offered a hand to help the bookwoman's apprentice to stand up.

Esther looked torn. "But…what about…" She looked down to the fainted finder beside her.

Tyki looked at the finder. "Road, what do I say about cleaning up after your toy?" he reprimanded.

Esther flinched at the mention of 'toy'. What's wrong with these people? The man is human being, not a toy. But she chooses to remain silent.

Road rolled her eyes and she waved her hand as the finder disappeared out of thin air.

Esther gasped. "What…happened to him?"

Tyki grinned. "Come on." He pulled the still-dazed girl to stand up. "He's not your concern anymore…"

Esther stared at the place the finder had been suspiciously but let herself being led by Tyki and Road to the hall where the Earl and the fuming Taiitsu-sama were.

As soon as Esther and the two Noah entered the room, Taiitsu-sama whacked Esther's head with her old wood cane, making the Earl, Tyki and Road dumbfounded.

"That's hurt!" Esther squeaked as she clutched her head and pouted.

"Idiot apprentice! You're making trouble for everyone! Hurry apologizes!" roared Taiitsu-sama.

The Earl, Tyki and Road sweat drop at the scene before them.

Esther, still pouting, bowed and apologized for all the trouble she caused.

The Earl laughed and dismissed her apology.

Esther almost couldn't believe that the weird fat bunny-faced man in front of her is the Millennium Earl everyone so scared about.

After a little chitchat, Taiitsu-sama cut to the chase and said, "Do we have a deal then?"

The Earl grinned. "Of course, you two are very much welcome here. We assured you that we are going to be the winner in the approaching battle…"

Taiitsu-sama remained expressionless as she said, "We don't care who win or lose because we are here simply to record history…"

"Of course, of course." The Earl said. "Remain neutral; I expect no less from the 'true' recorder of history…" He was mocking the Bookman "Panda" who claimed to be neutral and yet he and his apprentice used innocence to fight alongside the exorcists. He raised his two hands up to the air. "Welcome to the House of Noah~~!"

123

And so began Esther's days of living with the Earl and the Noah…

As their agreement, the Earl and the Noah would not attack or harm the Bookwoman and her apprentice in any way as long as they remained neutral and continued to record history in their side till the end.

Getting acquainted with the Noah was quite an experience for Esther. Of course, she was scared and nervous around them but she tried not to show it too much because if she did, they would take advantage of her vulnerability to 'play' her.

Jasdero and Debito like to play pranks on her. Esther hates them for annoying the hell out of her.

Road like to ask her to play dress with her which Esther refuse firmly as she hates dress. Sometimes she asked Esther to help with her homework which Esther agreed to help if she could. Esther hated it when Road brought home a 'new toy' which the Noah girl would like to torture and have Esther watch it.

There is also Sherril Camelot who keep gushing over both Road and Tyki. Apparently he has a weakness for beautiful and adorable people. When he saw her, he immediately have a nose blood and proclaimed that she is so cute which cause Esther to blush. She completely weirded out by the way the man acted. Both Bookwoman and Esther realized that Sherril has an important position in the government and used it to control the way of the world in the Earl's favor.

Skin Bolic didn't talk much with her. Esther found the big man quite creepy and what with his sweet obsession and uncontrollable urge to break/kill things/people/akuma?

Isabelle is almost like a big sister to Esther. She gave good advises but it was somewhat unwanted advises. She knew lots of interesting things and thus provided Esther with interesting conversation. But she was a woman and Esther was just an immature girl, so of course there is a gap between them. Isabelle likes to take Esther out to attend parties where the Noah was admired as beautiful young seductress. Esther dislikes the seductress part of the Noah woman.

_A/N: Isabelle is an OFC Noah, for those who are confused. This fic is written long before the manga finally revealed the rest of the Noah. _

And there is Tyki Mikk, the current source of Esther's love crush and pain. Tyki seemed to know her little crush toward him and he so enjoyed teasing the girl about it. Sometimes he goes as far as seducing her making her blushed, squirmed uncomfortably and ran away in embarrassment. Yes, he is the ultimate evil, at least to Esther. Other time, Tyki would lend her good books to read.

That was the interaction inside the House of Noah. Outside the house, Esther was required to be all serious as she had to record what the Noah did during mission assigned to them by the Earl. Esther had to go accompany the Noah one after another during their mission where she was forced to watch the cruelty of the Noah and the mass killing.

The first few months, Taiitsu-sama and Esther went together to accompany the Noah in their mission. After awhile, they went their separate ways as they accompany each Noah in order to save more time and record more appropriately.

123

Road giggled as she and Esther returned to the Noah's House. "Playing with that guy is so fun~~! I like to mess with his head~~! So easy to break~~… All I have to do is just to order the akuma to self-destruct and he just lashed out of control like that…"

Esther didn't say anything. She thought about Allen Walker and his curse eye which allowed him to see akuma's bound soul. She had to admit that Allen Walker is an interesting exorcist. She felt kind of sorry for that Allen boy though. It looked like he had taken Road's interest which is NOT a good thing at all.

"I take it you're having fun then?" Tyki's voice greeted the two who just came back.

Esther looked up to see Tyki sat on his favorite armchair near the fireplace with a book on one hand. He looked bored.

"Tyki!" Road jumped toward Tyki and settled down on his lap, making the older Noah dropped his book. "Guess who just I met on the rewinding town~~!"

"A new toy?" Tyki asked randomly, not quite interested.

Road pouted. "You're no fun!" She looked toward Esther. "Tell him, Esther!"

Esther just shrugged as she settled down on one of the cushion a bit far from Tyki because being near him will definitely rattle her brain. "Why don't you tell him yourself? I know you want to be the bearer of 'fun' news…"

Road didn't seem to notice the sarcasm in the bookwoman's apprentice's tone but it didn't miss on Tyki since it brought a small smile on Tyki's face.

"Really?" Tyki look interested now. "Who was the unlucky fellow that got you all so worked up, Road?"

Road smirked evilly. "Allen Walker, the cursed boy the Earl mentioned to us before…" She proceeded to tell him about the incident in the rewinding town. "It was so much fun to break the guy's heart~~! I wouldn't mind to play with him again."

"Sound like an interesting toy…" Tyki agreed with a grin.

Esther held the urge to roll her eyes at the two. She sighed and stood up. "I'm sorry but I'm not feeling rather well. I will retreat to my room now." she said and left the room.

Tyki and Road watched her left the room.

"Think we upset her?"

"She will get use to it…"

123

"Allen Walker?" Taiitsu-sama repeated with a tone of interest. She was pondering about what her apprentice reported to her that night. "Could it be…?"

"What is it, Taiitsu-sama?" Esther asked in confusion.

"The destroyer of time…" Taiitsu-sama said thoughtfully.

Esther frowned then realization hit her. "The one prophesied to…"

"Stt…" Taiitsu-sama hushed her as she looked around her as if afraid the Earl might hear what they talked about.

123

"Say, Esther?" Road called out.

Esther who was busy with Road's homework responded with a 'hmm?'.

"Do you like Tyki?" Road asked with evilly innocent face.

The question startled her so much that she 'accidentally' scribbled the page of the book she wrote in till it was torn. "W-what?"

Road was completely distracted by the result of her question to Esther toward her homework book. "My book!"

"I didn't like him like that!" Esther freaked. "Why would you ask something like that?"

"My book!" Road cried out dramatically. "What have you done to my book? You're cruel, Esther!"

Esther rolled her eyes as she regained her composure. "That was your own fault for asking me such a stupid question!"

Road glared at her then she smirked. "If it was a stupid question, why would you be panic over it that you kill my book?"

Esther blushed as it as if she was caught cheating. "That…that's because it was out of the blue question!" she defended herself.

"Really?" Road teased. "I don't see anything wrong with you admitting that you like Tyki. He is handsome after all… I wouldn't be surprised if you fall for him. No girls can resist his good look."

Esther stared at Road. "Are you really thirteen year old kid?" she asked. "Kids your age are not supposed to talk about stuff like that!"

Road smiled. "My classmates at school already talked about stuff like kissing and sex…"

Esther's eyes bulged out. "Really?" she asked and the Noah girl nodded. Esther shook her head. "Kids these days…"

Road giggled. "Have you ever been kissed before, Esther-chan?"

Esther glared at the girl. "Stop that!"

"What?" Road asked innocently.

"Don't ask me with uncomfortable adult questions like that!" Esther said. "You're thirteen years old!"

"I'm way older than I look, you know…" Road replied with a smile. "And the way you react about this supposedly adult stuff proved that I'm much more adult than you…"

Esther felt like she was stabbed. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing~~!" Road said in sing-song voice.

Esther twitched. "Fine then, missy, since you're more adult than me, please does your own homework without my help from now on…"

Road whined. "What? Esther is mean!" She pouted.

Esther crossed her arms and let out a grunt.

"Just because you lose in argument with me, you don't need to act so childish as having a fit and threaten not wanting to help me with my homework anymore…" Road said.

When she put it like that, Esther realized she does kind of childish but she would be damned if she admit it to the Noah girl.

Road put up innocent puppy look at Esther.

Esther sighed, defeated. "Oh, alright, I will help you with your homework!"

Road grinned triumphantly. "So…back to my questions…have you ever been kissed before?"

Esther gave Road an alarmed look. "Road…"

"Oh, come on, tell me the truth. Just say if you haven't, I wouldn't push it." Road said with a pout.

Esther poured herself a cup of tea. "You're beginning to sound like Isabelle, you know? Forcing me to meet guy, to try some wild stuff…" she said as she drink from her cup.

Road didn't seem to hear what Esther said as she continued rambling. "Unless you did have been kissed before and I would like to know the guy's name. And if you haven't, you should try it. You can ask Tyki to demonstrate it for you… He's a good kisser, I'm sure you will like it."

At this point, Esther spilled her tea and coughed violently.

Road laughed as Esther glared at her.

Isabelle entered the room with a smile. "What's going on here?" she asked as she looked at the other girls.

Road told her about her question for Esther.

Isabelle smiled as she took a seat beside Esther. "Ah, I would like to know who had your first kiss, Esther? Or you still haven't been kissed by a boy before?"

"I told her she should get Tyki to kiss her!" Road said. "She obviously likes Tyki after all."

"I do not!" Esther snapped but her face red which both Road and Isabelle snickered at.

"It was nothing to be ashamed of, Esther, if you do like Tyki…" Isabelle said with a pleasant smile, not teasing one.

Esther's eyes downcast in sorrow. "I can't…"

"Why?" Road asked icily. "Was it because you're disgusted at him since he is a Noah, the enemy of your kind?"

Esther was surprised at the coldness of Road's voice. "It has nothing to do with him being a Noah! It just…it was me…"

Road and Isabelle exchanged a confused look.

"A bookwoman can't care about other people. We shouldn't get attached with people especially one that is a subject matter in the history to write." Esther said sadly. "Basically, a bookwoman shouldn't have a heart because it would get in the way of writing history as it is. Must not have emotional attachment…"

"Then…" Road said. "You are not qualified to be a bookwoman, Esther."

Esther flinched. "W-what?"

"You are my friend after all…and if I am not wrong, you considered me as one too right?" Road asked.

Esther smiled sadly. "Yes." She shrugged. "Well, I'm still training. I will do better. I have to."

Isabelle smiled and sighed. "Well, just because you are not allowed to love, doesn't mean you can't have fun. It was already common to have sex without string attached. One night stand."

Esther blushed. "I won't have sex with anyone…"

Isabelle raised an eyebrow at that. "Why not? It is one of the pleasures in the world you know?"

"Heh? Really?" Road asked. "Maybe I should try it too…" Her mind wondered to a certain white-haired exorcist.

"Please don't!" Esther said. "You're too young for that, Road."

"I told you I'm older than I look!" Road said with a pout. "Well, what about you then, Esther? You're old enough but you haven't even been kissed before!"

"Who said I haven't?" Esther snapped a bit and instantly regretted it as the two Noah quickly gave her twin evil grins. She sweat drop.

"Spill it then!" Road said with a grin.

Esther flushed a bit. She took a deep breath. "It was with Lavi…well, he goes by the name 'Lavi' currently."

"Lavi? Who is Lavi?" Road asked curiously.

Isabelle frowned. The name is familiar to her. She had fought with him before. "The Bookman's apprentice?!" she asked in disbelief.

"Yes." Esther confirmed shyly. "We were both fourteen when we kissed."

"How?" Isabelle asked. "I mean I know how. But really how would the two of you ended up kissing? I thought the current Bookman and Bookwoman were like rival or something…"

"They are." Esther confirmed again with a sigh. She looked around her to make sure Taiitsu-sama or anyone was around. "Taiitsu-sama and the current Bookman used to be lovers…" she whispered.

"What?" Isabelle yelled in surprise. She had met the Bookman and his apprentice in one of her mission before. She tried to picture the Bookman and the Bookwoman as lovers and have a fit of laughter from the mental picture.

Esther grinned, knowing what probably cause Isabelle to laugh.

Road look puzzled as she had never met the Bookman and Lavi before. "You said they were lovers but I thought you guys are not supposed to have, you know, heart?"

Esther looked sad at this. "We're still human, Road. It's not like we can't deny completely our heart and emotion that comes with it…" she said softly. "Beside those two were lovers when they were still apprentices…"

"So they broke up…" Isabelle said.

"Yes, and ever since that time, they have been rival. When they met, there was always a fight. Lavi and I used to watch them banter with each other. It was quite funny." Esther said.

"So history did repeat itself huh?" Isabelle said with a chuckle.

"What do you mean?" Esther asked.

"You and Lavi, now. Current Bookman and Bookwoman, before." Isabelle said.

"Oh, Lavi and I are not lovers…" Esther said.

"Then why did the two of you kissed?" Road asked.

"Well, the kiss, it was kind of accident…" Esther replied with a blush. "Beside he isn't really interested in me like that. We are more like friends. However it has been years since I made contact with him so I don't know where we stand now…"

"I see…" Isabelle mused.

"So…are you two happy now? Will you two stop bothering me with weird uncalled for questions like that?" Esther asked half-glaring at the two.

Both Isabelle and Road shrugged innocently and even replied in the same time, "We will see…"

Esther groaned.

123

Esther was alone in a corridor. She leaned against one of the wall. Her face looked pale. She had just witnessed Road and Jasdebi killed a man, an innocent man, just to see how much blood-letting till the man died... She felt sick at the sight of the blood. She couldn't believe just how different can be the Noah in their white or black form. She couldn't believe the blood lusting Road in the other room is the same person with the cute and childish Road that always bugged her with her homework.

The bookwoman's apprentice held her left wrist as if to calm down the pulse through it. "I will be alright… I will be fine… I can handle it…" she whispered softly.

"Handle what?" Tyki suddenly appeared alarmingly near the girl and whispered in her ear.

Esther almost jumped. "Ty-Tyki, you…you scared the hell out of me…"

Tyki look amused.

Esther suddenly realized just how close he is with her and blushed at the contact. "Err, do you want anything? If you don't, could you move away a bit?"

This only served to amuse Tyki more. Instead of withdrawing, he advanced toward the girl, trapping the girl with his hands on the wall either side of the blushing girl's head. He loomed in with a grin.

The golden glint in his eyes made Esther gulped.

Tyki bent down toward the girl. His lips brushed her ear before whispering words like "What if I told you that I want you?" which made Esther blushed so furiously.

Panicking, Esther tried to push him a way with her hands.

Tyki caught one of her hand and brought it to his lips. He brushed the hand with light kisses. He put his other hand on Esther's other one and pinned them on the wall effectively rendered Esther's attempts to get away.

Esther felt her heart pounding so hard it might explode anytime soon. She looked up at Tyki.

Tyki smirked against her hand. He fixed his golden eyes toward Esther's green ones. He let go Esther's hand and use his free hand to brush Esther's long hair. "You're so cute when you're blushing." he whispered again in her ear.

Esther was dazed with Tyki's soft cooing words.

Tyki smirked. She's so cute, he thought, obviously she is inexperience in this. If he wants to, he could take her right here and now. He knew he would enjoy making love to the girl, teasing and torturing her inexperience body with his talented hands. Oh, the thought alone already gave him much excitement and pleasure.

Esther felt her heart leap with foreign excitement. She felt like she want to surrender to him, to let him do whatever it is he want to do with her. But she knew it was wrong…morally. She quickly pushed him away with her free hand.

This time, Tyki released her. He back down with a laugh as the girl glared at him angrily. Even when she was angry, she can still managed to look that cute.

Esther turned on her heels and hurriedly ran away.

Tyki sighed, eyes closed as he ran a hand over his soft hair.

"You know, you're too bold on her." Isabelle suddenly appeared from behind a pillar. "She's delicate; you should handle her more gently…if you want to get inside her pant…"

Tyki grinned. "Jealous?"

"With her? No, not really. I think the girl need to loosen up a bit and since she has a thing for you, I don't mind at all…" Isabelle said. "You seem to enjoy molesting her… You're going to make her traumatic of sex…"

"Ah, but I think she likes it… I think she's one of those types that seek to be violated…" Tyki said, smirking evilly.

"I think that's just you being a bastard…"

"I'm hurt with your words…"

123

"Esther?"

"Yes, Taiitsu-sama?"

"Don't get attached. Remember we're here just to…" 

"I know, Taiitsu-sama, you don't have to repeatedly say that…"

"Your aura is disturbing today… I can tell that something is bothering your mind… Don't let it disturb what you should do. Be strong, Esther. This is our duty."

"Yes, Taiitsu-sama…"

123

There was a party in Appleby Town Hall. Isabelle was excited to go there. She wanted to take Esther with her much to the girl's dismay.

"I look ridiculous…" Esther commented as she looked at her reflection in the mirror.

"You look wonderful, trust me…" Isabelle said as she put a make-up at her face.

"Why do I have to go with you to the party? I'm way too young for that kind of stuff…"

"You're nineteen! Girls at the age supposed to be at that kind of party…"

"Well I'm not like other girls…"

"Obviously…" Isabelle rolled her eyes.

"Then why do I have to do this?" Esther asked.

"You should try to be like other normal girls…even if you are just pretending…beside the experience will be good for your future identity."

"I don't like this…"

"Get used to it…"

Esther pouted.

Isabelle chuckled. "Put on a smile, girl…"

Esther rolled her eyes. "I feel ridiculous…"

Isabelle led the bookwoman's apprentice toward the other room where Tyki is. "I told you that you look pretty… Isn't she, Tyki?"

Tyki observed the girl from up and down, making the girl uncomfortable.

Isabelle smiled. "Now, stay here you two, I still have to deal with Road and the twins…" She left.

Esther cursed inwardly. She didn't want to be alone with Tyki while she was wearing dress like this.

Tyki grinned at Esther. "You look decent to the eyes now…" he said. "Women should be in dress instead of trouser…"

Esther glared at him. "There is nothing wrong with the way I dress before! I don't like wearing dress like this because it made me feel…"

"…like a woman?" Tyki asked.

"…vulnerable…" Esther whispered and looked away.

Tyki smiled. "Is that so bad? The way I see it women are more vulnerable, after all they are emotionally more unstable than men are…"

"Not every women like that! Taiitsu-sama is a strong woman. And I will be too." Esther said rather grudgingly.

Tyki's smile widened. "Really? How could you when you already are intimidated by having to dress like a real woman?"

"I don't need to wear dress just to be a real woman." Esther insisted.

"But don't you know? Women's appearances are their weapon against men."

"You sounded like Isabelle…"

"Isabelle is right. Take her, for example, seduction is her weapon against men. Every man is weakened at the sight of her…"

"She shouldn't have to. She is strong. I don't see why she needs to use that kind of weapon against men. She has power. She definitely is not defenseless." Esther said.

Tyki laughed. "I knew she is strong but what I meant is other form of defense. Not the kind that use violence. I think you still innocent in that way…"

Esther glared at him. "I'm not that innocent. I know that men are pervert." She gave him a 'you-re a pervert' look.

Tyki chuckled. "Yes and how do you deal with it?"

Esther shrugged. "Anyway I have to... I'm not defenseless, you know. I know how to protect myself."

"I'm sure you do but that's not the point here…"

"What do you mean then? You're giving me a headache over here…"

Tyki grinned. "Allow me to demonstrate…" He pulled Esther toward him and immediately Esther blushed at the contact. He smirked. He seduced her in a way that would make any girls melt into his embrace right away. "See? You're clueless at stuff like this…"

Esther flushed angrily and glared at him.

"You claimed you knew stuff like this and yet you get all flustered and brain dead the moment handsome and obviously more experienced men like me seduced you with words and touches?" Tyki mocked.

Esther was angry and moved her hand to slap him.

Tyki caught her hand and kissed it. "I'm stronger than you, you know? I could have my way with you if I want to…" he said. He looked at Esther. "But two can play this game…if you knew how to play this…you won't lose…"

Esther looked away.

Tyki grinned in triumphant.

Esther quickly pulled her hand away when she heard footsteps approaching followed by the squabbling fight between Road and the twins and the exasperated Isabelle.

Tyki moved away from Esther and talked to the others.

Esther looked toward Tyki. She realized Tyki was right. But what is the man wanted her to do anyway? Learn seduction art to defend herself against Tyki's kinds? She convinced herself no men would ever dare to do that to her. Tyki was an exception…because she has a thing for him which weakened her defense. Yes, that must be it, right? She quickly shook her head to push that thought away from her mind.

Tyki looked toward Esther and grinned, knowing that once again he had rattled the girl. He like to see her troubled face, it made her look even cuter.

123

The next few months, Esther was taken away by Taiitsu-sama in some other place to deal with the situation and crisis that arises. That is after making sure that there is a vacuum time between the Earl and the Exorcists so that they won't miss recording important piece of events.

The council was in great chaos. Apparently someone had broken into the sacral library and made a copy of some important old scroll containing prophecy of years to come. Taiitsu-sama and Esther was called to help with the search and destroy mission. Bookman "Panda" and Lavi was also called back for the same situation. The scroll is that important that if it falls to the wrong hand, there is no telling what disaster might occur.

It was kind of awkward meeting Lavi again since Esther remembered the kiss they had shared before but apparently Lavi didn't or acted uncaring about it. But he was still the Lavi she knew, her somewhat childhood friend and first love crush. He was still humorous, mischievous and cheerful Lavi.

"Yo, Esther!" Lavi greeted her with a cheerful grin, hands behind his head. "That's the name you're currently using, right?"

Esther smiled nervously. "Hey, Lavi…"

Lavi's eyes softened. "You're still the same as ever…still the same shy girl…" He grinned suddenly. "But I can see that you have at least grown enough to be that pretty…"

Esther chuckled, unsure if it was compliment or insult. "Thanks…I guess…"

"So how is life on the other side?" Lavi asked.

Esther flinched. "You know I can't tell you anything about them."

Lavi frowned a bit. "Why not? In the end, we're going to exchange our notes."

"Sorry." Esther said. She realized that Bookman "Panda" and Lavi might really have gotten too involved with the exorcist. She didn't know whether the two realized it or not.

"Oh, well…whatever. For me it was fun in Black Order. They are nice people." Lavi said.

Esther could tell that Lavi care for those in the Black Order as much as she cares for the Noah. But she kept reminding herself to remain neutral. She must not think who will win and lose. After all, ones fight for the future of mankind and the others, people that happened she had grown to care, fight for new (probably twisted) world.

Lavi told her with ease about his new friends but careful not to reveal anything that Esther might slip up to the Noah. Not that he didn't trust her but better safe than sorry, right?

Esther smiled as she listened to Lavi's description of the kind-hearted and likes to eat a lot Allen Walker, the cold-superior-attitude of Kanda, the sweet-kind Lenalee, the weird and soft-hearted Crowley and Miranda, etc. She had met Allen, Lenalee and Miranda briefly during their confrontation with Road but those three hadn't seen her.

"Did they treat you well there?" Lavi finally asked.

"What?"

"The Noah…"

"Yes. We do have a deal you know…"

"I don't know how you and sunakake baba can stand live with those cold-blooded monsters."

Esther flinched at that. She wanted to tell Lavi that the Noah family is not that bad but realized she can't. After all, the Noah did have bloodlust and judging from the way they killed people, she couldn't disagree with Lavi there. But she still can't get rid of that image of family-like dinner and any other events with the Noah back in the house. She loves it better when the Noah didn't have mission. When they didn't, they are just almost as normal as people can be.

"Lavi, Esther, what the hell you two standing there like a bunch of idiot? Get in here!" One of the council members yelled at the two.

"Sorry, sorry!"

"I'm sorry!"

123

Esther finally returned to the House of Noah. She was sent back first by Taiitsu-sama. The Bookwoman herself still have some more issues to deal with. Esther was tired. The chase against the thieves had taken a lot of her. It took them months to capture the thieves, track down where they sold the copied scroll, destroy the scroll and stuff in-between.

Upon seeing her, Road jumped toward her and hugged her tightly. Jasdebi and Debito started to plot against her and even made her laugh. Isabelle asked her how she was doing. Tyki smiled faintly at her which successfully making her blush before he continue playing with his cards.

After enough resting, Esther had to accompany Tyki and Road on their mission to 'erase' a certain general, Kevin Yeegar. She saw the kind general are more worried for his subordinates' safety than himself. She saw him defeated those Akuma level one and three. She saw him had to face Tyki and Road. She saw him accidentally piss Road off which cause Road to entrap the man inside his bad memories.

Esther felt pain for the general. She closed her eyes, couldn't bear to see Yeegar screaming about his past misery of not being able to save his students from akuma. Road was enjoying Yeegar's pain as she sang a tune about the Earl.

Esther didn't realize that Tyki had reappeared by her side. He bent down a bit and whispered in her ear, "If you close your eyes, how can you see the end?" Esther flinched but she opened her eyes. She looked up at the Noah, eyes filled with sadness.

Tyki was taken aback by the pain he saw in his eyes but he masked it. He smiled. "Having second thoughts about staying on our side, Esther?" he asked.

Esther looked away. "I'm not on your side. I'm here merely to watch and record events…" she said. It was so hard to utter those words when her mind and heart told her to help the general; that he didn't deserve to be tortured like that.

Tyki chuckled. "Then why do you look like you wanted to cry your heart out?"

"I won't intervene with this but it doesn't mean I have to like it…" Esther replied.

Tyki observed the girl then to Road and the general. Finally he moved toward Road and grabbed her hand. "It's enough, don't you think? Let him out of here."

Road pouted but did as she was told to.

"I will finish this quickly." Tyki said. He tipped his hat a bit then suddenly launched toward the general in alarming speed.

The general was dying. The Earl appeared, greeted the two Noah and the bookwoman's apprentice before move on to destroy all of the innocence in the general's possessions.

Awhile later, standing on top a cliff where below Esther could see the heartbreaking scene of Allen, Lenalee and the finders found the general tied on a tree. Esther saw the exorcist girl fell on her knees and sobbed.

Esther felt one single tear fell on her cheek. She quickly brushed the tear away and spun around to leave only to bump into Tyki. "T-Tyki…"

Tyki stared at her. He raised a hand to stroke down the side of Esther's face, whose eyes widened in surprise at the gesture. "Human is such a fragile creature…" he said solemnly.

Esther blinked.

Tyki smirked suddenly. "That's why I love to see them in pain…"

Esther, upon hear what he said, suddenly was angry. She pulled away from him. Did Tyki enjoy seeing her in pain? Is that why she was so upset? What would she expect anyway? All Noah is like that. She was now angry at herself for being angry.

Tyki look amused as he saw the bookwoman's apprentice was pulled in her own thoughts. He stared at her thoughtful face, the way her forehead furrowed and how she looks quite cute. He suddenly has the urge to kiss her and he did kiss her. He pulled her toward him suddenly and locked his lips with hers.

Esther's eyes widened in surprise. Her first instinct told her to push him away but her second instinct told her to kiss him back. But her brain apparently has failed to function as none of those above Esther do as she was completely stunned.

Tyki broke the kiss and smirked seeing Esther's flushed cheeks and unsteady breathing.

Esther glared at him. She was seriously considering slapping the man who had violated her mouth and still had the nerve to let out superior smirk toward her.

Luckily for Tyki, Road appeared. "What are you two doing there? Let's get back!"

Tyki grinned. He offered you a hand. "Shall we?"

Esther slapped his hand away and left in her aura of fury.

Tyki watched her go and chuckled.

123

Esther was alone in her room in the Noah's House. She can't get the kiss she got from Tyki out of her mind. Why would he kiss her like that? Is this some kind of game for him? He just said that he enjoyed seeing human in pain. And she…is a human. And she…is in pain. What? Did that get her a kiss? Was it because of the deal? He can't hurt so he just messes with her mind? She can't think. Her mind is all messed up now, no thank to that pervert Tyki!

"Uh, stupid, stupid, stupid!" Esther yelled.

"Who is stupid?" Isabelle asked suddenly as she appeared in front of the doorframe.

Esther glared at the woman. "Ever hear of knocking?"

"I did knock but you are too busy daydreaming." Isabelle said with a laugh. She walked toward the bed where Esther sat down. She sat beside the girl. "So who are you talking about?"

"What? I didn't talk about anyone. What are you talking about?" Esther look panicked.

Isabelle chuckled. She sighed. "I heard you're upset about today's mission…"

Esther stared at the woman. "Who told you that? It must be that pervert Tyki right? I…" She started rambling.

Isabelle look amused. "Did something happen between you two?"

Esther froze. She recalled the kiss and blushed. She then recalled the first time she came into the house and saw Tyki and Isabelle was having sex. She paled, not at the expense of remembering the scene but feeling like she had betrayed the woman by kissing Tyki. "No. There is nothing between us. I'm just here to…" She closed her eyes as if she was reading mantra. "I'm here to watch and record events for history's sake!"

"It looked to me that you're trying to convince yourself than me. Anyway it didn't connected with what I asked. Did Tyki do something that is upsetting you?" Isabelle asked.

"I'm fine." Esther replied. "He didn't do anything. There is nothing between us. It was just a kiss. And it's not like I want it to happen. It was…"

"Whoa, you two kissed?"

"How would you…?"

"You just said it."

"No, I didn't."

"So you two kissed?"

"We didn't! I mean we… He did the kissing. I didn't. It's not like I want it. Really!"

Isabelle chuckled.

Esther felt so stupid. "I'm sorry, Isabelle. It won't happen again."

"Why would you apologizing to me?" Isabelle asked.

Esther look confused. "Aren't you two lovers? I mean I remembered the first time I saw you two, you two were…" She blushed.

"…having sex? Yeah, it was heat of the moment…"

"What?"

"It meant it didn't mean anything to us. It was just for fun."

"But…"

"No but. That was it. We never even have sex again for months now."

"Oh please don't say that word…"

"What? Sex?"

Esther groaned.

Isabelle chuckled. "You really need to get laid, Esther…"

"You did it again!"

"What? I didn't say the S-E-X word…"

"Oh, just shut up!" Esther pulled a pillow over her head.

Isabelle laughed.

123

The Earl had called Tyki away from his human friends. "Welcome home, Tyki-pon~~!"

"Yo, Tyki!" Road greeted.

Tyki arrived at the Noah's house and was asked to help Road with her homework. "Don't tell me that you called me away to do this?"

The Earl gave him a card containing the list of the name he has to kill. "I want you to go here as my messenger."

Tyki sighed as he scanned the list.

The Earl noticed that. "Why don't you go and take bookwoman's apprentice with you? I'm sure she wouldn't want to miss these kinds of events…"

"Heh?" Road whined. "But I need her to help with my homework~~!"

"Lero and I will help you with it. It is important for Esther-chan to be with Tyki because she need to record…" The Earl said.

"You're just enjoying making her suffer seeing all of us kill humans…" Road said with an evil grin.

The Earl grinned. "Well, that's beside the point…"

Tyki just shrugged. "So where is the girl?"

Later on…

Esther stared at Tyki suspiciously.

"Don't make that kind of face…" Tyki said. "I'm not here to tease you or anything…" He said with a slow grin. "Although I would like to…"

"Don't you dare to finish that sentence!" Esther threatened.

Tyki chuckled. "We have works to do…"

Esther flinched at that. 'Work' meant mission for the Noah and recording for Esther.

123

Esther was there with Tyki when he slaughtered a group of exorcists. She was there when Suman Dark sold his comrades' life in exchange of his safety. She saw Tyki put Tease inside Suman's body and let the man go. She was a bit upset with this Suman but understand that he did it because he was so desperate to see his sick daughter again. She was upset with Tyki that he put the flesh-eating golem inside Suman's body even after promising his freedom in exchange for the information.

Seeing Esther's upset face, Tyki chuckled and said, "It was human nature to betray those who trusted them whenever they were driven into a corner… There is no need to be upset about it…"

"I'm not upset." Esther lied as she forced herself to be emotionless.

Tyki observed the girl silently.

123

Esther had to accompany the twins on their mission but it turned out really bad very quickly. When Esther returned to the house, her whole body was filled with yellow sticky goo.

Isabelle raised her eyebrow. "What the hell happened to you?" she asked as she tried to stifle her laughter.

Esther only replied, "The twins…"

Isabelle burst out laughing much to Esther's dismay.

123

This time Esther has to accompany Isabelle in her mission. Isabelle tried to cheer her up but it was hard to cheer up when you know your companion is going to kill someone and you are absolutely can't intervene. Using the information given by Suman to Tyki, it was easier for Isabelle to track down her prey. The mission is obviously a success.

"So tired~~!" Isabelle complained. "Now that's all done, I could get a very much deserved rest…" She stretched her arms.

Esther remained silent.

Isabelle observed the girl. "Does it bother you?"

"W-what?"

"To be in the sideline, unable to intervene when you so clearly wanted to…?"

Esther's eyes downcast. "It doesn't matter. I'm a bookwoman and my job is…"

Isabelle put a hand on the younger girl's shoulder. "It does matter to you…"

Esther looked up at Isabelle sadly. "Can we not talk about this?"

Isabelle sighed. She studied the bookwoman's apprentice's sorrowful face. She sighed again. She thought that she might have liking the girl too much for her own good now. She has grown attached at the younger girl. She wondered after the war ended what would happen to their deal. Will they still remain friends or…? 

123

Tyki took Esther out on his journey during one of those vacuum times again.

For the first time, Esther saw Tyki's white form. Esther was surprised at how dorky Tyki can be in his white form. She giggled. "What's with the super-thick glasses?"

Tyki grinned. "Like this, no one recognize me from my black form…"

So Esther went with Tyki who introduced her with his human friends. And Esther quickly befriended Eaze. Esther could tell that the small boy adored Tyki so much and Tyki seemed to have soft spot for the boy.

"Is this what you do in your free time?" Esther asked.

"A-ah." Tyki said as he lay down on riverside.

"They don't know then?"

"Why should they?"

"Shouldn't between friends there is no secret?"

"Some secret were meant to be kept…not shared… I'm sure you have one or more secret you would like to keep to yourself right?" Tyki asked as he looked over at the girl.

Esther looked down toward the bracelet on her left wrist. "A-ah…"

It was fun traveling with White Tyki and his friends. Tyki introduced Esther as his girlfriend much to Esther's dismay. Tyki said he can't exactly tell them that she was a family since to them; White Tyki is orphaned.

Esther noticed Eaze's necklace which was the button of exorcist' uniform bearing the name of that general Tyki had killed before. She found herself upset about it. "You gave him the silver button from your victim?"

"Yes. What? Do you want it too?"

"How could you give him that?"

"He likes silver…" was Tyki's lazy reply.

"I'm not talking to you anymore…" Esther pouted and turned away.

Later, Eaze approached Esther and said he wanted to talk to her, asked her to come to the mine after everyone finished working. Esther agreed. Eaze attempted to give the girl the silver. Apparently he had overheard the small portion of the conversation and misinterpreted that Esther was upset that Tyki had given the silver to him than to her. He begged her to reconcile with Tyki.

Esther frantically explained that she wasn't upset about the silver and asked Eaze to keep it. She also said that she wasn't fighting with Tyki. Suddenly there is an earthquake. Instinctively, Esther quickly protected the boy as the cave in the mine became unstable. Tyki appeared to be nearby and quickly pushed Esther and Eaze out of harm's way.

Esther likes White Tyki better now. Even if he was rude, a cheater in gambling and a bit perverted, he obviously cares for people. Well, he is Tyki's human half. But then again Black Tyki seemed to favor and care for his family members as well. And he is also a bit perverted. Guess the pervert gene was in both Tyki's form but prone more to the Black who actually acted on it.

Soon it was time to go back to the Noah's House. The Earl had called upon the Noah family to gather at the house for a luncheon. Esther was invited, of course, as a witness for the events to come.

"He adores you so much. What's going to happen to him when the battle is over? Will he still be around? Are you going to protect them?" Esther asked Black Tyki. "You like them, didn't you? They are your friends."

Tyki didn't answer.

Esther asked again this time with a hint of sadness, "What if you didn't survive the battle? What would become of Eaze? He would still be waiting for you to come back from your 'extra' job…"

"For a bookwoman, you sure involved your emotion too much. You're thinking something that will only hurt you as bookwoman who should not have heart…" Tyki said.

Esther shut her mouth.

In the family luncheon, the Earl gave out cards to all of Noah. The cards supposedly have a list of names of the person they are supposed to 'erase'. At the time, the servant-akuma announced that Taiitsu-sama has returned. This will surely help Esther in her multiplies task to record events of the future mission of the Noah. Bookwoman have to accompany Isabelle and Skin on their mission one after another. Esther has to accompany Tyki and the twins on their mission also one after another.

123

Tyki and Esther went to China and they witnessed Suman Dark's innocence turned against the owner. The innocence turned Suman into a Fallen One. He was tortured by the innocence from the inside.

Esther saw a white-haired exorcist that Lavi had claimed as friend is busy trying to calm Suman who is starting attacking the village nearby. She looked over at Tyki who was smiling widely as he enjoyed the show. "You know that he was going to be punished by the innocence, didn't you?"

Tyki smirked but that pretty much answered her question.

"It would be better if you just kill him back there…" Esther said softly. "Like this, he couldn't even see his daughter…"

Tyki looked over at Esther. "You're ruining my fun, Esther…" He pouted a bit.

"I'm sorry…" Esther replied sarcastically. "Apparently I am not good enough to be a bookwoman…"

"Then why do you still undergoes the training to be a bookwoman?"

"There is no other way for me…"

Tyki look puzzled.

Esther sighed. "I made a mistake long time ago. I killed…a person…"

If Tyki was surprised, he didn't show it, but he did say, "You? Kill a person? I found that hard to believe…"

"I'm a witch, you see, I have a few power on my own." Esther explained. She raised her left hand and showed Tyki the bracelet on her wrist. "This…is a binding bracelet so that I don't use my magic anymore. I lose the right to use magic the day I killed that person using black magic…"

Tyki stared at Esther, didn't know what to say.

Esther ran a hand over her hair that was blown by the wind. "The White Magic Council found out about my mistake…and they wanted to…erase me. I…was considered dangerous in the field of magic users. And that's where Taiitsu-sama came in. She rescued me. She bound my power using this bracelet and made me…"

"…a bookwoman who is neutral…" Tyki finished.

"Yes." Esther confirmed. "As long as I don't use my magic for evil, the council won't order my execution…" she said. She didn't know why she told Tyki of her dark secret, one that even Lavi didn't know exist. "I am still allowed to make potion or cast spell but with supervision from Taiitsu-sama. And no matter what, I must not take off the bracelet for the black magic in me shall corrupt my soul… If that happened then all Taiitsu-sama's effort would be fruitless. But I won't let her effort go to waste. I will be a bookwoman…"

"So you can't stop being a bookwoman for that reason…" Tyki said.

"Unless I lose my power forever, I won't be safe from the council's watchful eyes…or the black magic's clutch…" Esther said.

"Didn't you feel trapped? They limited you with that bracelet…" Tyki asked.

"It is so that I shall remain a human, not…some kind of evil who mercilessly kill people…" Esther replied. "No offense…"

Tyki chuckled. "None taken…"

123

"Isabelle…has died… She was killed by Cross Marian…" Road said with sorrowful eyes.

Esther felt her blood ran cold. She felt sad over the death of Isabelle. She saw the remaining Noah mourned for the loss of their family members.

Taiitsu-sama who had been there when Isabelle died didn't say anything. When she saw the look of her apprentice had about the news, she was worried that Esther had crossed the line of a bookwoman. Later that night when there were only the two of them, she went to talk to Esther. "Esther…"

"Yes, Taiitsu-sama?" Esther asked. When she saw the firm face of the bookwoman, she realized she might have done something that had upsetting her again.

"Don't get emotionally attached with them. Remember, we are here only to record history…"

"I know, Taiitsu-sama."

"Do you really?"

"…"

"Don't disappoint me, Esther…"

123

Esther stood in front of a window in an empty room. She was watching the night scenery outside. The moonlight lit up the dark room. "Why do I shed tears for them? They had what coming to them…" She felt a presence from behind her.

Tyki stood beside her. He pulled out a cigarette, lit it and took a drag of it before asking, "The human…or the Noah…?"

"Both…" Esther whispered softly.

"…" Tyki observed the girl's solemn face.

"Why does it hurt to record history like this? To not involve yourself like this even when you know people that you care might die if we didn't?" Esther clutched her chest. "I'm a bookwoman. I shouldn't have a heart. I have to be neutral." She looked toward Tyki. "What should I do?"

"You could free yourself. Join us…"

"You know I can't do that to Taiitsu-sama. I can't betray her."

Tyki stared at the girl. "I guess I can't blame you to feel that way…after all you're a human too…"

"Sometimes I wish I don't have any emotion. Even if it mean I won't be able to feel happiness but I won't feel sorrow either. No pain. No regret. No expectation." Esther chuckled. "It would be easier…"

"Not really. It wasn't quite a good state to be in. For me, my white side and my black side…the true fun is having them both…"

"Isn't it painful? You might encounter people when you're in your white form…people that maybe someday you will have to kill as a Noah…"

Tyki's mind flashed a mental picture of Allen Walker, cheating boy 'A' whom he met in his white form before. He put off his cigarette. "Tell me, Esther, who do you wish to win in this battle? The exorcists? Or the Noah?"

"I don't know. I wish both the exorcists and the Noah can live in coexistence…"

"That's quite impossible…"

"Then we are doomed…"

"Who?"

"You. Me. All of us."

"That's so not uplifting…"

"But realistic…"

"…"

"…"

They didn't say anything but just stood there, content with each other's company.

123

_A/N: Please keep in mind that this is alternate universe so it didn't quite follow the manga properly. _

The Earl gathered the Noah in Edo where the Noah's ark is. Taiitsu-sama was currently inside the ark with Road, leaving Esther to accompany the others.

Later, Edo quickly became a battle ground as the exorcists arrived there as well following their source that the Earl had gathered all akuma in Japan. They wanted to know what the Earl is planning as well as to meet Cross Marian there.

Tyki and Esther found out from Cell Roron that Allen Walker is still alive. Tyki ordered an akuma level three to attack Allen who was currently in China.

As the Earl and the Noah exchanged banters with each other with Esther watching and rolled her eyes at their childish behaviors, they were suddenly attacked by a massive force sent by Lavi.

Tyki quickly pulled Esther to safety. He grinned as he looked toward the source of the attack. "So they did come…"

Esther was in the handsome Noah's arms, heart pounding. She quickly released herself from Tyki's arms and muttered a small thank.

Tyki smiled. "Watch the battle on safe distant, bookwoman! Can't have you die before you finish writing about us…."

Esther forced a small smile.

Lavi and Crowley advanced toward the Earl and the others Noah but found that they have to face Tyki and Skin. While Crowley deal with Skin, Lavi deal with Tyki. Lavi was upset to see Tyki because he recognized him as the person who killed Allen.

Tyki only chuckled and provoked him but revealed in the end that Allen is still alive.

As the battle started everywhere, causing explosive everywhere, Esther was forced to move away to safety and she landed a few roof away from where Lenalee and Miranda are.

Lenalee, who is guarding the exhausted Miranda, noticed Esther who just stand by and watched the many fights before her. "Don't come any closer!" She thought Esther was the enemy.

Esther looked at the girl. "Relax; I'm not here to pick a fight. I won't harm you and your friends there…" she said then she resumed her attention on the battle.

Lenalee glared at Esther in distrust.

Esther ignored the exorcist girl. She continued watching the fight. She bit her lips as she saw Lavi was in a pinch fight against Tyki who is obviously more powerful. "Lavi…" she whispered in worry.

Lenalee's eyes widened. "You…are you…the bookwoman's apprentice?"

Esther turned toward Lenalee. "Yes, that's why you don't have anything to be afraid of me… I'm here just to watch and record this…" She felt so lame.

"I know that a bookman/bookwoman is here to record history…but how can you stand by watching all of this happening in front of you?!" Lenalee asked as tears streaming down her cheeks.

Esther's eyes downcast in sorrow. "I'm neutral… I couldn't…"

"You couldn't or you won't?! Look at Lavi! He was in danger! Why won't you help him? He is your friend, isn't he? Are you going to stand by and watch him die?!" Lenalee yelled.

"Even if I intervene, I wouldn't be able to save him anyway, Tyki…is strong…" Esther said. "And Lavi shouldn't have intervened in the battle in the first place… He is a bookman after all…"

"You're impossible!" Lenalee's face contorted in anger and disbelief.

"Hey, Lady, you think this is easy for me? I have to do this. Someone has to be neutral! Since Lavi and the Bookman didn't, my mentor and I have to do this! It is the rule! Get over it!" Esther snapped finally.

Lenalee was speechless.

Esther was really angry at Lenalee for judging her like that. She wondered though why the council allowed "Panda" and Lavi to continuously intervene in the battle against the Earl and didn't do anything about it when they are supposed to be neutral? Perhaps they are afraid that the Earl really takes over the world and decided to stir history in their own way. Neutral? Neutral their ass! She scoffed in annoyance at the thought. Then why would they send Taiitsu-sama and her to the Earl? Just in case the Earl won?

Esther moved away from there to witness on some other battle on the other Noah in different view. She watched the twins and Skin are still fighting Bookman and Crowley. She saw that the exorcists were fighting an obviously losing battle here. Her attention was caught when she heard Lenalee's yelp of surprise as Tyki appeared behind her and grabbed her. For some reason, Esther felt her heart hurt. Was she jealous? This is getting ridiculous!

General Tiedoll, Kanda and Mari appeared to help rescue the others. But soon the Earl made his move to wipe out Edo along with the present exorcists with his power.

Tyki suddenly appeared behind Esther, took a hold of her waist and flash-stepped into some other place just as unseen force wiped out Edo. He covered her protectively.

Esther blushed a bit. "T-Tyki, what are…?"

"Stt…" Tyki whispered. "It's the Earl's power…"

"W-wha…?" Esther stopped and looked around her. Her eyes widened. "What…happened?"

Tyki chuckled. "You're amazing, Earl. How scary… Edo's so empty now…"

Esther froze. She put a trembling hand over her lips. If Tyki hadn't protected her, she would have died. He saved her…because she was a bookwoman who write for their side, right? If she didn't, if she fought alongside the exorcists; Tyki would have let her rot to die…

Tyki's breath warm in her ears as he said, "Don't think too much about it…" as if he knew what she was thinking?

The Earl looked pleased. He wasn't upset to see there are still remaining exorcists survived his attack. It was fine. After all where is the fun in that if all is over this soon? He frowned to see Lenalee's innocence that seemed to be the reason the exorcists survived? "There's something about that innocence…"

The exorcists quickly moved to protect Lenalee.

Tyki left Esther's side and moved to attack Kanda. Lavi was also attacked by Skin.

At the middle of all the fighting, Allen appeared and attacked the Earl. Soon all the fight was moved inside the ark….well at least for the young hero and heroine.

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Crowley and Lenalee tried to find a way out because the Earl had set up the ark to self-destruct in 3 hours. The ark shall be the tomb of all the exorcists.

Kanda and Skin had a fight, Skin died but Kanda survived although injured badly.

Crowley and Jasdebi had a fight and both lost their life.

Allen, Lavi and Lenalee even Kanda mourned for the lost of their fallen comrade.

Road appeared before Allen and gave him the key to get out of the ark.

_A/N: I know it was supposed to be Tyki but this is AU so it should be alright. _

123

"Why did you give him the key, Road?" Esther asked.

Road didn't answer. Her expression looked serious for a minute then broke into a grin. "Because I like the guy…"

Esther raised an eyebrow at this. "But aren't you upset? They had killed Skin and the twin."

"Of course I'm upset. I let them go now because I have plan for them." Road said darkly. Her face twisted in evil grin suddenly. "Next time…I will show them…no mercy…"

Esther felt a chill.

123

"Heh, so Road had let them go?" Tyki mused.

"Isn't she going to be in trouble with the Earl? I mean she messed up his plan, am I right?" Esther asked.

Tyki chuckled. "Yeah, the Earl might be upset for a bit but he couldn't stay mad at Road for long…after all Road is his golden child…"

"I see…" Esther looked thoughtful. She guessed she should felt relief after all because of Road's twisted infatuation with Allen, Lavi survived. She had been worried about the bookman's safety.

Tyki watched the girl in amusement. "What are you thinking now?"

"Eh?"

"You seem to think a lot huh? And then you will end up brooding…"

"I don't brood."

"Yes, you do."

"No, I don't."

"You do. What I meant is you really shouldn't think too much about stuff or you will get wrinkle on your face…"

"You're not funny."

Tyki chuckled. "Anyway, I'm glad that Road gave them the key…this way I still have the time to meet that Allen boy again."

"Why are you interested in him?" Esther asked. "Was it because he survived your killing?"

"Perhaps. There is something about that boy that took my interest…"

"Think you have met your match?"

Tyki scoffed. "No way."

Esther smiled a little. Then she frowned. "Taiitsu-sama said that…he might be…'the destroyer of time'…"

"The one prophesied to be able to kill the Earl huh? We shall see…"

"Yes, we shall…"

"You don't sound too happy about it. Could it be that you are starting to favor on our side, bookwoman?" Tyki teased the girl.

Esther glared at the Noah. "I'm not a bookwoman yet. And no, I'm not on anyone's side. How many times do I have to say that?"

Tyki chuckled. "You don't have to sound so defensive; after all, it is only natural to siding with the obvious winner…"

"You're annoying! I'm leaving!" Esther said obviously very upset. She turned to leave but felt a hand on her wrist.

Tyki pulled her down on his lap.

Esther blushed at the contact and struggled to get away. "What are you…Let me go!"

Tyki held her firmly, almost possessively.

Esther turned to look at Tyki. "If this is another of your way to tease…" She froze when her eyes locked with Tyki's golden eyes.

Tyki smiled. "Just stay here with me…"

Esther's heart suddenly ached with pain when she saw the look Tyki gave to her. Esther stopped struggling but her body tensed.

Tyki's hands circled around her small waist. His chin rested on Esther's shoulder. His warm breath mixed with the smell of cigarette. "Stay with me for a bit…"

Esther's body relaxed a bit on his embrace.

123

Esther entered one of the rooms in the Ark where Tyki is.

Tyki grinned when he saw her but stopped when he noticed her troubled look.

Before he could ask her what's wrong, Esther pulled Tyki down and kissed him fully in the mouth. She kissed him so desperately like there was no tomorrow. It's now or never. She had to tell him to show him that she loves him. She didn't care anymore about what Tyki would think about her after this. She didn't want to hesitate anymore not when she had this feeling in the pit of her stomach that if she didn't do something about her feeling for him before the battle, she would very much regretted it.

Tyki raised an eyebrow at the sudden change in Esther but quickly settled into the kiss. He pulled the girl toward him, enjoying the way their body pressed against each other.

Esther broke the kiss. She looked up at Tyki with unsteady breathing.

Tyki smiled at her. He caressed her hair gently as he pulled her into another kiss, more intimate this time. He slipped his tongue inside her mouth, exploring the inside. Then he pulled her up bride-style and went toward the bed where they could make love more comfortably.

Tyki broke the kiss this time after he laid the girl down on the bed.

Esther's face was covered in pretty blush which Tyki smirked at.

The two surrendered completely to the desires and attraction they shared as all hesitation and self-control was lost.

Later…

Esther lay on the bed, exhausted, after their sexual interaction.

Tyki stood up on the bed, now fully-clothed, struggling with his cufflink.

Esther watched him and slowly sat up. She covered herself under the blanket. She bit her lips. Why does her heart still numb? Why does she still feel like she was going to lose him?

Tyki observed the girl and sighed when he realized that the girl was lost in her own thought.

Esther felt lips pressed against hers and blinked at the sight of the Noah kneeled before her.

Tyki smiled. "Don't look so sad like that…"

Esther forced a smile. "I'm not sad…"

"You think I'm going to die, didn't you?"

"You are not immortal…"

Tyki chuckled. "True." He leaned toward the girl and whispered something to her.

Esther blushed at what he said. "Pervert…" she muttered.

The Noah stared at the apprentice almost lovingly. "When the battle ended, will you consider staying with me?"

Esther look surprised at his request. "Tyki…"

"Never mind." Tyki grinned and stood up. "See you in the end of the day…"

Esther watched him left the door and felt that sinking feeling in her stomach returned full force. For a minute, she was tempted to call Tyki back and tell him that she want to stay with him or to beg him to stay with her…anything to erase the despair she suddenly feel. But the moment is gone and Tyki has gone.

_Hold up_

_Hold on_

_Don't be scared_

_You'll never change what's been and gone_

_May your smile (may your smile)_

_Shine on (shine on)_

_Don't be scared (don't be scared)_

_Your destiny may keep you warm_

_Cos all of the stars_

_Are fading away_

_Just try not to worry_

_You'll see them some day_

_Take what you need_

_And be on your way_

_And stop crying your heart out_

123

Taiitsu-sama witnessed the fight between the Earl and Cross Marian in some other room in the ark. Cross was in a pinch in his fight against the Earl. The fight quickly joined by Tiedoll and the rest of the general. The Earl proved to formidable opponent. It looked like Allen Walker will be their only hope.

123

Esther witnessed the fight between Tyki and Allen in the room where Lenalee and Chaoji are entrapped. In the same room Lavi is fighting Road in his mind.

Esther watched the death of Tyki Mikk the Noah in the hand of Allen Walker. She watched sorrowfully as Tyki's body fell to the floor. She watched as the enraged Road ordered brain-washed Lavi to attack Allen. She watched Lavi defeated Road and ultimately killed her.

The room was surrounded by fire. Esther walked out of the place where she had watched everything. She walked toward Tyki and kneeled before his body. "Tyki…" Tears fell from her cheek as she hugged his cold body. "You didn't make it after all… We never are going to make it to the end of the day after all…"

Lavi noticed Esther. "Esther, what are you doing?! Get out of here!" he yelled.

Chaoji asked, "Lavi-san, who is she? Why did she hug the Noah? Is she his comrade? Doesn't that make her our enemy?"

Lavi shook his head. "She's a bookwoman. She recorded history in the Noah's side. She's neutral, not our enemy…" he explained briefly. Then he ran toward Esther. "Esther, what the hell are you…"

Esther didn't listen. She continued to hug Tyki. "You never did tell me the words that I want to hear from you after all…" she whispered sadly. She brushed away her tears.

Allen and Lenalee stared at the scene before them. They gasped as realization down on their face.

Lavi paled at the realization. "Impossible… Esther…you…"

"You love him…" Lenalee whispered in disbelief.

Allen didn't say anything but he did feel a little guilty.

Esther looked up toward the exorcists. "I love him… I care for him…" She looked toward the ashes of Road's body. "I care for the Noah…"

Chaoji's body shook in anger. "Love…cares…? How could someone, anyone care for those crazy, cold-hearted bastards? The Noah is all demons! They are evil! They kill human! They are the devil! They are soulless demon!"

"Yes, they are probably the worst there is…" Esther whispered. Suddenly she looked up toward the others. Her angry stare pierced everyone's heart, especially Chaoji. "But if you called them demons just because they killed people, then humans are no different." She gritted her teeth. "We, humans, have a soul, we are supposed to be perfect, yet we still hurt, betray and killed each other. Right, they maybe demons, they probably don't have a soul, what do you expect from them?! Or maybe because they were only half-human, I don't know, so how do you explain humans, fully humans, who have soul but committed murders anyway?"

Everyone was silent at this.

"You should go. Save yourself…" Esther said. "There is still battle in front of you."

Lavi stared at Esther sadly. He looked at Allen, Lenalee and Chaoji. "You two go ahead… I will stay here for a bit."

Allen and the others left leaving the future bookman and bookwoman alone inside the burning room.

Esther let go Tyki's body. "You should go, Lavi, you still have to record the events to come…the main events…" She chuckled bitterly.

Lavi offered her a hand. "You do too, don't you?" he said with a sad smile.

Esther stared at Lavi's hand blankly.

_Get up (get up)_

_Come on (come on)_

_Why're you scared? (I'm not scared)_

_You'll never change_

_What's been and gone_

_Cos all of the stars_

_Are fading away_

_Just try not to worry_

_You'll see them some day_

_Take what you need_

_And be on your way_

_And stop crying your heart out_

123

The final battle is quickly approaching…

The Earl actively started attacking city after city, making the exorcists of Black Order busy dealing with it. He sent his most powerful akuma level four to attack and make a massacre out of civilians and exorcists.

The Black Order had been destroyed, very few survived.

Lenalee was devastated of the loss of her brother and people she had come to term as 'family'. She and the others had been distracted and failed to see the Earl's plan to destroy the Black Order and Hevlaska.

The Earl had declared the final note of the war toward the exorcists.

Allen and the remaining exorcists swore on the death of their fallen comrades that they shall stop the Earl and the Noah and save the world.

The new Noah's ark had been activated. The Earl is waiting for the remaining exorcists to come to him.

The upcoming battle is vicious and last long for a few more years. More Noah Clan members are awakened from their slumber on unsuspecting human host. More new exorcists are found to tip the balance. The clue to the Heart is finally found and it's a race against time to either save it or destroy it.

The battle was ended with the destroyer of time, Allen Walker, defeated the Millennium Earl. The rest of the Noah had also perished. The exorcists won.

Taiitsu-sama and Esther returned to the council to work on their next history-recording journey… So does "Panda" and Lavi…

123

Years later, Both "Panda" and Taiitsu-sama had passed away. Both Lavi and Esther had become the official new Bookman and Bookwoman. While Lavi's heart remained warm and joyful, Esther's heart had been frozen from the day Tyki Mikk, the Noah who had stolen her heart, died.

Later on, they will meet again, both has shed the Lavi and Esther identity. They took a seat opposite of each other, drinking coffee together, watching the progress of new world unfold before them.

**The End**

_A/N: I re-uploaded this fic after previously deleted it on my own. I don't know what I'm thinking at the time. I guess I lose interest in -man fandom. Then I started liking them again so I figured I would upload it again with a few editing. I don't expect people would leave a review again for this story since most already did and unfortunately, stupidly, deleting the original but it would be nice to get a few review again._

_I still felt unsatisfied with the flow of the story. Someday I might make a new version of Bookwoman story when I have the muse and the time. I might make one featuring Nea Walker since he has become one of my favorite Noah. I need more Nea Walker fic in my life seriously._


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